


Carisi You're Not A Quitter

by MollyKillers



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Lawyer Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Light Angst, M/M, Professor Rafael Barba, Rafael being Sonny's biggest cheerleader, She Paints for Vengeance, Slight Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:07:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22295299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MollyKillers/pseuds/MollyKillers
Summary: A re write of Sonny's first trial in episode 21-11 'She Paints for Vengeance' but with barisi elements.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 65





	Carisi You're Not A Quitter

**Author's Note:**

> To quote my mother as we watched this episode "if only Sonny's boyfriend was there to help him". So that's why I tried to rewrite the scenes as if Barba was there.  
> Now this is my first episode reaction fic so if it sucks I'm sorry, but this needed to be done.  
> Also can I just say how proud of our boy I am? Like he kicked ass! You know Barba is so proud of him!
> 
> Hope you guy's like it! :)

“Barba? Is that you?” Amanda asked shock covering her voice as she stared down at the man sitting on one of the court benches in part 37. She barely recognized the older man as he wasn’t wearing his signature suit, but instead he had on a nice blue knit sweater paired with dark jeans. He was also sporting a dark beard with spots of salt and pepper scattered throughout it. In all their years of working together, she had never seen him look so relaxed. 

“I’m surprised to see you here,” she said as she sat down next to him. Barba looked up from his phone and smiled at his former colleague “detective hey, and it’s Carisi’s first trial. I wouldn’t miss this for the world”.

Amanda lightly smiled “I hope you didn’t come just to give him a hard time” she lightly joked. Rafael smiled back, a little forced on his end, “there are a lot of things I could give Carisi a hard time about but using his law degree is not one of them. I’m very proud of him”. 

Amanda nodded her head as silenced lulled between them. “So... umm... how have you been? What have you been up to?”. Rafael scratched at the short yet thick beard that covered his face “I’ve been good. I work over at Columbia as a law professor”. Amanda nodded “really? I thought I heard that but it was hard for me to see you anywhere but a courtroom”. Rafael chuckled lightly “yeah it was weird at first but I truly love it. Although I haven’t fully given up the courtroom. I volunteer a little working with the innocents project”. 

Amanda smiled at that “oh that’s such a good group. I’m glad you’re still putting your skills to use”. Rafael nodded “yeah, you can take the man out of the DA's office but you can’t take the lawyer out of the man”. Amanda huffed out a little laugh.

“So how have you been? I heard you had another kid”. Amanda smiled widely “yeah I had another girl, Billie”. Rafael grinned “if she’s anything like Jesse I bet she’s a handful but wonderful all the same”. Amanda smiled and laughed as she pulled out her phone and showed Rafael her lock screen which was a picture Sonny had taken of her and the girls at a park. “They are beautiful Rollins” Rafael lightly cooed. 

Amanda smiled down at her phone again before putting it away. “I know I said it when I first saw you but I’m generally surprised to see you here. I mean one to see you in a courtroom without a suit is slightly weirding me out”. Rafael let out a full body chuckle “it feels a little weird as well especially to be on this side of the gate”. Amanda nodded “I could imagine, also I didn’t know you and Carisi were still... friends... or did Olivia tell you?”.

Rafael bit his tongue for a moment as he thought of what to say. He and Sonny had been together for a couple years they just hadn’t told most of the squad. Rafael opened his mouth then shut it. Sonny didn’t want to tell Amanda or Fin about them for some reason. Liv was the only living member of the squad to know. 

The first of the squad to ever know was Mike. Sonny and him were best friends so when Sonny went up to his grave to see him, like he did a couple times a year, he told him. He knew his former sergeant and best friend would be so happy for them. Since he was the person Sonny confided in about liking Barba in the first place.

Of course, they had to tell Liv as well. One she was like a mother to Carisi and a close friend to Rafael. And two she was Sonny's boss so disclosure papers had to be filled out as they got together a few months before Rafael left the DA’s office. Even with everything that had happened to cause his leave they survived and were still together.

Rafael lightly shook his head and looked at Rollins from the side of his eyes “we’ve somehow stayed in touch”. Amanda nodded a little confused but ignored that part of her brain. 

The two former colleagues were luckily pulled from their awkward small talk and silence that had fallen around them as the room started to fill up. Barth walked in with her client and it took all Rafael’s power not to sneer. Sonny was right in his description the guy was way too cocky. 

Sonny came in a moment later carrying his old briefcase and looking anxious. He looked out into the gallery and smiled as he spotted Rollins and Barba. Rafael sent him a thumbs up and he physically relaxed as he started setting everything out.

The case seemed to be going pretty good. Sonny was holding his own and Rafael couldn’t have been any prouder. When Sonny started to question Monica Rafael could tell he was starting to hit his groove. 

When Sonny sat down and Barth stood up for her cross Rafael saw the evil smirk the crossed her face. The following few minutes were awful. Barth started pulling up everything that had already been stated but began to reword it in a way to blame the victim. 

Rafael was so proud as Sonny kept yelling objections left and right. He knew it was risky to object so much but Barth was pulling out all the stops. Rafael noticed when Sonny started to visibly shake as Barth finished her cross. It took all his power not to stand up and protect Sonny. 

When the court adjourned for the day Amanda jumped up and went after Monica. Rafael understood she would need some comfort as Barth had put her through the ringer. 

Rafael stood up and walked towards the front of the room. He saw Barth snark something to Sonny as she and her client left the room. Sonny slouched down in his chair and rested his head in his hands. Rafael sat on the empty bench behind him.

Sonny didn’t even look up before he whispered out “was it as bad from back there as it was up here?”. Rafael felt so awful at how broken his boy sounded. He leaned forward and rested his arms against the dividing gate “it wasn’t that bad Sonny”. Sonny huffed out a breath and rubbed at his eyes.

Silence filled the room around them as it slowly emptied out until it was just the two of them. Rafael stood up and walked through the little gate and sat at the table next to Sonny. He sat silently for a moment thinking of what to say. “I told you about my first case at SVU right?”. Sonny huffed out a quiet laugh and almost smiled as the legend of the case came to his mind “Yeah you got choked by a belt, it’s pretty infamous”. Rafael chuckled “yeah... but what few seem to remember is up until that point I was losing”.

Sonny lowered his hands to squinted questionably at Rafael. Rafael continued “the jury was on his side. They were eating up every little thing he had to say. So, I had to force them off of his side and get them onto mine. I stuck him on the stand and made him choke me... you just have to do that for this guy”. Sonny sighed “I don’t see how getting Markee to choke me in court has anything to do with this case”. Rafael smiled “there he is, there’s my precious boy”. 

Sonny’s lip’s twitched wanting to smile but he refused to let them “plus he’s refusing to take the stand”. Rafael placed a hand on Sonny’s shoulder and squeezed “so make him un-refuse”. Sonny slouched in his chair some more letting the weight of his boyfriend’s grasp ground him. 

“Don’t you have a class to get to?” Sonny asked into the now empty courtroom. Barba squeezed his shoulder “I’m not leaving till I know you’re okay”. Sonny sighed and turned in his chair to face his lover “Rafi I’m fine”. Rafael shook his head “I know you’ve had a half-written letter of resignation in your briefcase from day one. I’m not leaving till I know you’re not going to use it”.

Sonny leaned in close resting his head against Rafael’s “I’ll be okay... I need to go re-group and try to figure this out... and I promise I won’t do anything dramatic until I at least talk to you”. Barba frowned and put his hand behind Sonny’s head playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck. “Swear it mi amore. You’re an amazing lawyer so don’t let this case get you down. Take a step back and breath because I know you’ve got this”.

***********

Sonny heard the door open to his cramped dungeon the DAs called an office and squinted as the bright hallway lights filled the room. His former captain stood in the doorway “I heard you got bloody today”. She spoke softly as she walked deeper into the room. 

Sonny looked up then down at his case file then back up and grimaced “did Rollins tell you that? Because it was more like a slaughter”. 

Liv dropped a bag full of take out on top of some files that covered Sonny’s desk "is the take out from you or from Rafi?” he asked. Olivia gently smiled “let’s say half and half”. Sonny almost smiled as he opened the bag and the smell of sesame chicken filled the room “it’s my pick me up food. It’s from Rafael”. Olivia chuckled and perched on the corner of his desk “he made a helpful suggestion”.

“What’s this?” she asked as she picked up the paper Sonny had hastily shoved under the pile of files. She frowned as she read it “I wasn’t sure Rafael was being serious but you have a resignation letter...”. Sonny picked at his hand refusing to look at her “I’m gonna lose this case... Ms. Hadid already knows... she has spies in the courtroom”. Sonny shrugged sadly “I’m done”.

Olivia pursed her lips and shook her head “Carisi you’re not a quitter... no.... no it was your first day in court. You got knocked down so you get back up again”. Carisi threw his hands up and stared at the wall “what... what if...” he voice broke “what if I’m not cut out for it”. Olivia frowned.

Sonny clasped his hands together “you know what the worst part is? I didn’t protect Monica”. Olivia shook her head “hold on a second listen to me”. Sonny shook his head and stood up ”I should have objected more but you know if you object to much then... then the jury thinks the witness is hiding something. So, I didn’t know what to do and I just left her up there as a target”.

Liv let him ramble for a moment “Monica is a lot tougher than you think”. Sonny looked to the floor “every moment of her life was open for dissection while Markeevious was just sitting over there smiling on the sidelines. She said it herself Liv it’s not fair”.

Liv grabbed Sonny’s hand and made him look at her “so use that. Figure out a way to get him into the game”. She pulled him into a quick hug “I didn’t raise you to be a quitter” and with those parting words she left. Sonny stared after her for a moment letting her words sink in.

He slouched down into his chair and ran his hands across his face and through his hair messing up his quaff. He sat that way with his hands pulling his hair for a moment as Liv and Rafael’s words ran in his head. He had to show who Markeevious really was if he even had a chance. 

The smell of take out pulled him out of his stressed position. He didn’t realize how hungry he actually was. He pulled out the container and picked up the chopsticks and menu from the bottom of the bag. He paused at the menu as it had a post it note stuck to it. He finally let a smile cross his face for what felt like the first time that day as he read.

“Mi amor, please relax and eat. Trust me I know this is rough but I believe in you and no matter what I love you - your Rafi”

Sonny took a deep breath and let the weight of the day drip away for a moment. Rafael was right, he needed to find a way to flip the script.

**********

Sonny came bursting out of the bathroom almost taking out Rafael who was rushing in. “Sonny” Rafael breathed out as he pulled his boyfriend into a hug. “I’m so sorry I missed today but Rollins filled me in”. He leaned up and kissed Sonny’s cheek “I'm so proud of you”. 

Sonny stood slightly shell shocked and wiped at his mouth. Rafael frowned and looked at the tissue in his hand, “are you okay?”. Sonny took a step back “not really... no. Jury’s been out for days”. Rafael grabbed Sonny’s arm “it’s been three hours Sonny”. He looked at the paleness of his lover “did you just throw up?”. Sonny shook his head and put his tissue in his pocket “no”. Rafael leveled him a look that said he didn’t believe him “yes”.

Rafael frowned even more and pulled Sonny back into his arms and ran a reassuring hand through his hair. Sonny deflated into his arms instantly “waiting for the verdict... it’s different when it’s your case” he muffled against Rafael’s neck. Rafael smiled a knowing smile “trust me mi sol I know, but I also know you killed it today. You showed the jury who this Markee guy really was and that’s all you can do. You did the best you could and now it’s out of your hands”. 

Sonny’s phone buzzed in his pocket making him pull away. His face became a mixture of excitement and anguish. “What’s wrong?” Rafael asked. Sonny bit at his lip “the jury’s come back”. Rafael pat at Sonny’s chest above his heart “okay?”. Sonny nodded “I’m good, I'm good”. 

**********

“On the sole count of rape in the first degree, how does the jury find?”. The judge asked towards the jury box. The lone juror stood up and unfolded her paper “we find the defendant, Markeevious Ryan, guilty”.

The court room erupted into happy yells and hand claps. 

Sonny stood letting his victory hit him. He had done it he had just won his first case as an ADA. He turned and caught Liv’s knowing glance and nodded. 

He finally smiled when he saw Rafael on the back-row grinning like a fool. ‘You did it mi amore’ Sonny saw him mouth and he smiled and mouthed back ‘thank you’.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you guys think?  
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!  
> Also follow me on twitter @MollyKillers to live tweet episodes with me (it's a lot of fun)


End file.
